SERENITY—Finding
inner peace is perhaps the oldest human endeavor akin to discovering wisdom,
love and insight. The defining words of
the popular Serenity Prayer (author unknown, at least to this blog) are rooted
in several languages and cultures.
The prayer reminds us to be calm.
My take is it has taught me—a secularist—to focus on the
aspects of life that I can control thus allowing me the time and energy to
spend on the “things and stuff” that I cannot control.
Mine was a world filled with fret until I realized my
romance with alcohol was at the root of so many financial problems.
Thanks to a loving wife and a close circle of friends, who
channeled me into rehab programs run by M.D.s, I stopped drinking alcohol in
any form on October 31, 1986.
As the years of sobriety add on, I still fret--but my list
of worries include whether or not my grandson will make the varsity high school
team next year or how much travel can we plan on now and in the future.
The loving wife remains a rock in my life, but we do not
know what health issues will come our way tomorrow? But, we have made plans for eventual hospital
care so our children will not have to divert monies from their family plans.
We can’t control future health but we can control future
care.
We do it calmly and with an earned sense of serenity.
And, to use another of life’s clichés—we do it one day at a
time.
Does that make us smarter?
Not really. It just makes us a
grateful couple for living in a country that provides us so many options to
plan ahead.
PS: I am asked how I
remain sober up to this moment. At the
insistence of close friends and doctors I entered a six week rehab program led
by a major hospital.
Upon leaving the rehab program, my wife strongly suggested I
began seeing an independent Mayo Clinic trained psychiatrist, who assisted me
in exploring the reasons why I let alcohol abuse into my life.
My participation in out patient rehab programs and my weekly
meetings with an M.D. shrink, I came to understand the underlying stresses that
led me to alcohol.
When the light went on, I was able to apologize to all those
who I burdened by my past actions. I did
not dwell on seeking forgiveness instead I focused on showing people I was
serious in my rehab.
More over, I promised my wife and infant son I would not
drink alcohol for the rest of my life.
In keeping my promise to date I focused on living my life so
I do not create stresses that lead me to alcohol.
Also, I made a deal with myself. If I stopped drinking then I would not have
to attend sobriety meetings. I believe
in sobriety programs at the group level, but my sobriety is dealt with on an individual
basis one moment at a time.
I work every second to keep my promise.
I am fretful I might fail sobriety but I am calm and I have
a deep trust that I will do the right thing.
I like who I am.
I am at peace.
By Thomas Shess, Editor/Founder, Pillar to Post blog
