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CHOP TALK—Perry’s Steakhouse in Austin Texas serves a three-deck pork chop thick as a Henry James novel.
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ROAD TRIP
WITH DAUGHTER WAS WORTH THE DRIVE. BUT
BETWEEN AUSTIN AND SAN FRANCISCO THERE’S NOT MUCH TO FEAST ON.
GUEST
BLOG / by Eric Peterson--Let’s just say that one of us overestimated
how many Juicy Couture sweatshirts, Papaya print chiffon tank tops, Abercrombie
jackets, and pairs of ASICS running shoes and Lucchese boots would fit into a
rented Lincoln Navigator—that is, after the flat-screen TV, computer monitor, bedding,
and framed horse pictures had already been loaded.
The happy result? I’d have company on my road trip.
It was
Memorial Day Weekend, and my daughter Caroline was relocating from Austin,
Texas, to San Francisco. The obvious solution to our dilemma was that Caroline
would follow me, her father, in a second, equally jam-packed SUV.
Four days on the road with my precious, 26-year-old daughter.
Heaven. But the prospect of embarking on a road trip always engenders a certain
amount of apprehension. I’m convinced it’s in our genetic makeup—residual atoms
from ancestral pioneers who crossed the untamed West in covered wagons.
Caroline
and I would be spared the perils of prairie fires and marauding Indians, but traveling
through four western states, we faced savagery of a different sort: gas station
restrooms, two- and three-star low-rise hotels, and a plethora of casual dining
restaurants.
On our last night in Austin, leery of meals to come, I
steeled myself with a Perry’s Steakhouse pork chop. Thick as a Henry James novel, with three
ribs protruding from the top of the chop and a slice of tenderloin they call an
“eyelash” served on the side, a pork chop at Perry’s will have you raising your
hands and singing hosanna. This moist, buttery, decadently fatty interpretation
of “the other white meat”—each bite loaded with notes of smoke and bacon—is Perry’s
signature entrée for good reason.
The highways of Texas are a joy to travel. The smooth,
spit-shined asphalt surfaces put California’s potholed freeways to shame. The posted
speed limits of 75 mph mean you can safely cruise at 80, and my Lincoln
Navigator was up to the task. Its acceleration was impressive; its air
conditioning robust.
The soft leather appointments of the cabin enveloped me in
a cocoon of quiet luxury, and the Sirius satellite radio served up a seamless
selection of uplifting country music. Passing trucks, I relished seeing the Navigator’s
LED turn signals as they flashed on the side mirrors—like a police cruiser.
For the record, the ‘80s-era Lincoln Town Car still stands
today as the best road-trip automobile ever made. Nothing facilitated a weekend
screamer like tooling around in a big, stinkin’, rented Lincoln—some of those weekends
are among the better memories of my early adulthood, but mention Phoenix,
Arizona, to me and I will deny ever having set foot in the place. Mention it
twice and my lawyers will sue you for libel.
By the time Caroline and I reached Lubbock, Texas, night had
fallen. Exhausted and hungry, we checked in to the Hilton Garden Inn. For
spaciousness, comfort, and cleanliness, our rooms at this hotel rivaled any of their
big-city, high-rise cousins. The hotel’s glittering lobby was stunning, and the
staff of leggy, impeccably tailored Lone-Star brunettes who welcomed us—well,
in my next life I hope to come back a Texan.
We settled for a late dinner at a nearby sports bar. The
bright overhead lighting, the banks of buzzing TVs, the multicolored menus with
their pages stiff and glossy as children’s storybooks, the bar tops tacky as
glue traps—it was like eating in a nursery school. The chicken piccata came out
defrosted, microwaved, and solidly breaded.
Even the garden salad tasted like
Chicken McNuggets.
The next day, we caught Highway 40, a route that parallels active
railroad tracks. Mile-long freight trains came in scores, gifts from a
munificent God. In Albuquerque we met Caroline’s sister, Katie, and Katie’s
fiancé, Lucas, for dinner at Ruth’s Chris Steak House. Both girls ate sensibly.
I, on the other hand, flouted cirrhosis of the liver and coronary artery
disease by matching Lucas in a wild carnival of gluttony: a slew of Manhattans
followed by too much red wine, calamari with spicy Asian chili sauce, a bone-in
New York strip, and a fully loaded baked potato. Did I mention that I love my
future son-in-law? That night I slept well, certain I could make San Francisco by
living off my body fat.
Monday was a long day of driving for Caroline and me—10
hours. In Flagstaff, Caroline found an elegant workaround to fast-casual
dining: she led us to a Whole Foods Market, where I soothed the jackhammering
in my head with a 750 ml bottle of San Pellegrino sparkling mineral water and
two slices of a thin-crust vegetarian pizza.
On the last morning of our trip, leaving Barstow,
California, passing through the Mojave Desert, I suffered a shock: it seemed Southern
California was being overrun by an army of colossal robots from outer space. On
closer inspection, these gargantuan beings were horizontal-axis wind turbines,
arranged in hideous Orwellian eyesores euphemistically called “wind farms.” I
am convinced these blots on Mother Nature’s splendor will be the bane of our
generation. And as far as I could tell, only about one in ten was turning.
What’s with that? And who will dismantle these monstrosities when mankind comes
to its senses?
Like most road trips, this one ended too soon. Crossing the newish Bay Bridge into San Francisco, I panicked as I realized I’d have to return my
Lincoln Navigator to the car attendants at AVIS. I’d become attached to this
big black truck the way a cowboy ranging over four states might grow fond of
his horse, and now I had to shoot it.
Caroline and I finished our trip on a high note: dinner at Tadich
Grill, San Francisco’s oldest restaurant, that landmark spot in the Financial
District where my father and grandfather once dined. I had successfully delivered
Caroline home—home to the site of her first job out of college, home to that bone-chilling
summer fog, home to that bustling, Bohemian, disgraceful city by the bay.
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HIGH NOTE--San Francisco’s Tadich Grill was the perfect dinner stop after a father-daughter road trip covering four states. |
At our table near Tadich’s busy kitchen, I mopped my
melancholy with chunks of garlic toast dipped in the simmering tomato sauce of a
seafood cioppino, knowing that our father-daughter road trip was one for the
ages, thinking that in an era of flying, self-piloted cars, when cancer and
heart disease are cured by a simple pill, when a technology called Hyperloop is
moving people from place to place at 4,000 mph, Caroline can tell her
grandchildren that she once drove from Texas to California with her old man. In
those days, she’ll tell them, you had to stay awake and steer your own car,
which traveled strictly on the ground. The journey took four grueling days.
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Eric Peterson is the author of The Dining Car, a contemporary novel about a former college football player who
enlists as bartender and personal valet to a curmudgeonly food writer and
social critic who travels the country by private railroad car.