LESSON #1 [Be warned more to come]
Because manners, good sense and a clever amount of chivalry has gone to hell in a hand basket, this online magazine has entrusted Clive Boomer & Associates to prepare an occasional guide to how to behave in a world dominated by idiots (no offense to those who are true idiots). Ignoring these posts will only encourage Clive (and fellow Boomers) to post more of these correctionary tales penned by him or a favored associate.
WHEN TO PROPERLY SOUND YOUR HORN
By Brae Canlen
Five reasons to honk at another vehicle:
1. The vehicle looks like it might rear-end or crash into you.
2. The vehicle is about to hit a pedestrian
3. The vehicle is about to hit a dog, cat, nun, rabbit, or row of marching ducks.
4. A meteor, plane, or other flying object is descending rapidly, threatening life and limb.
5. The light has turned green and the vehicle in front of you is not moving. After a three-second delay, a tap on the horn is appropriate. A full blast of the horn is simply rude.
Five reasons NOT to honk at another vehicle
1. The driver in front of you is too slow and this annoys you.
2. The driver in front of you is waiting for pedestrians at a crosswalk and this annoys you.
3. The driver in front of you slows down to make a turn and this annoys you.
4. The driver in front of you slows down or stops to park his or her vehicle and this annoys you.
5. The other drivers at a four-way stop sign make you wait your turn and this annoys you.
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The author is a Southern California freelance writer stuck between generational portals.
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