AN EXCERPT FROM THE NOVEL CANTINA PSALMS
BY THOMAS SHESS
A loud, unexpected knock on anyone’s front door late at night is not good news. At best, it’s a drunk pounding on the wrong apartment door. At its worst, the grim reaper is making a house call.
When tonight’s knock came, time stood still.
Wide-eyed, Tom said, “I hope it’s not your husband.”
Annee whispered, “I don’t have a husband. Don’t answer. It’s never good news this late. No law says you have to answer,” she whispered.
“That’s not the way I play,” he said and jumped to his feet. He hurried to the hat rack by the front door, where his holstered service revolver hung on a hook next to his bulletproof vest.
Nothing like seeing Superman peeking through his front door spyhole holding a Glock 9mm behind his back with his ass hanging out below his cape.
***
Tom first opened the door as if he were cracking a safe. Then he shrugged, “My God, what are you doing here?”
Annee heard a woman’s voice respond.
“I’m drunk, I’m wet, I’m pissed and I don’t have any place fun to go that’s warm.”
Tom responded: “I have company.”
“Good, let me join in.” Carly Martin pushed the door wider and stepped into the flat. She saw Annee covering her nakedness with a throw pillow and smiled and put her finger up to her lips. “Shhh, it’s OK, I’m not his wife or his girlfriend but we mess around when we’re bored. Does that make sense?”
The strawberry blonde reached up to shake hands with the pixie haircut brunette. “I’m Annee.”
“You’re certainly pretty,” Carly said and pulled off her wet raincoat to reveal her spaghetti strap dress. She reached down and touched Annee’s bare knees. “Do you have to be naked to play?”
“Yes.” Tom grinned. He knew Carly was blitzed. That was not something she would do or say sober. And because she was at his door, he knew something did not go well wherever she had been tonight.
Carly slid onto the sofa next to Annee. “Is that coke? Tom, you renegade. Since I got stood up. I deserve a line.”
Tom rolled his eyes.
Annee put her fingers on his lips. She obliged and used the edge of a credit card to lay out a thick line of coke for Carly.
Tom came up behind Carly quickly pushed the silk straps off her shoulders. She felt her dress start to fall the floor. Now, she had a choice either catch the dress before it slipped to her waist revealing her breasts or she could ingest the line Annee had cut for her. The coke won.
“Sounds delicious,” Tom laughed at her noisy snort.
She immediately started coughing and ended up sneezing. “God, I’m such an embarrassment. That’s strong stuff.”
“You’ll have a nice buzz going for you in a few minutes,” Annee warned.
“I’ve had too much Champagne,” Carly said. She lay back on the sofa and closed her eyes.
Annee cupped Carly’s breasts with her hands.
Startled, Carly tried to sit up.
“Relax,” Annee cooed, “let’s have some fun.” Annee tugged the dress over Carly’s hips. Carly eased back on the sofa. “I had a boring date with Garrett,” she said, looking at Tom, who took off his T-shirt. “He’s so disorganized,” she continued, “I don’t want to see him anymore... I’m blabbing. Why am I telling you this?”
Annee kissed Carly, who pulled away. “Oh, Tom tell her I don’t do girls.”
“Too late,” he said and moved behind her.
“Oh, what are you doing?” Carly asked Annee, who moved her tongue slowly down from her navel.
Tom came around behind where Annee was kneeling and inserted himself. He whispered. “What are we doing, Carly?”
Carly’s breath became quicker. She answered softly, “Annee’s sucking me and you’re fucking her in front of me.”
Tom reached across Annee’s pink, freckled back to hold on to Carly’s hands. Carly’s head was spinning. Oh, how she loved being on the carousel. She had never been so overwhelmed with cocaine or aroused by a woman and a man at the same time before.
Tom’s hands explored both women. He had never made love to two women at once.
Being the most sober of the menage, he was filming in his mind these two wonderful women. Something to savor some day in his old age. The trio reversed positions. Tom moved inside Carly and Carly’s mouth found lips.
Soon, he could tell them apart by just touching their skin. Annee was far more athletic. Her body was taut and smooth, while Carly was soft and easy to touch living velvet. And they were both his for tonight. “This really can’t be,” he pulled his cock out of Carly before he ejaculated. Annee found his penis and held on to it. Tom closed his eyes as he continued to skyrocket. Carly stroked Annee’s breasts, twisting nipples one after the other between her thumb and forefinger.
“You can do that all week,” Annee laughed.
Carly slipped her hand into Anne’s mons,
“My turn, let me try that.” Annee whispered.
Carly laughed, “I can’t move, Tom’s inside me.”
***
On then off the sofa, three consenting adults spent three hours in a pile of asses and elbows as some country western song so delicately blared. Sometime during the night, Tom woke to their voices. Annee and Carly were in the middle of an existentialist coke conversation. Exploring. Whispering and asking silly, drunk questions. By touch he knew he was spooning with Annee. He heard Carly and Annee giggle. Carly whispered, “Have you ever had a black cock in your mouth?”
“Lots of times,” Annee whispered back.
Carly asked, “How is it? I’ve never had a black cock.”
“If you close your eyes or turn out the lights at night, all cocks are black.” Annee laughed. Tom moved across from the sofa to his favorite overstuffed chair to sip his half full glass of wine. The body heat and the radiator had made the small flat almost hot.
“Have some more coke.” Annee pointed to the lines of powder on the coffee table. Carly inhaled both lines. “This is it, no more.”
Tom began to laugh. Annee was on her hands and knees crawling toward him. Carly jumped to her feet. She ran ahead of Annee, grabbed Tom by the hand and led him into the bedroom. “No, you don’t.” Annee chased and fell into bed with them.
THIS SHIT’S SO GOOD I CAN SEE MARS
Dawn revealed a rain-swept Friday—another in the endless parade of arriving Arctic storms drenching, depressing the Bay Area. Climate restorers had long given up trying to bring what used to be normalcy to the worldwide weather patterns. Instead, meteorologists worked on prediction models aimed at coping with Mother Earth’s rage at what humans had done to her. Science forecast another month of rain. Now, they were seldom wrong.
Brain fogged, Annee barely slept. She felt miserable, nauseated from last night’s coke fest. She’d enjoyed the coke; now she was paying for it. She edged out of bed, covering her nakedness with Tom’s blazer that until now lay on the floor.
Annee was happy the flat was warm. Tom had left the ancient steam radiator on all night. Moving to the living room, she sat on the sofa, crossing her bare legs, and lit one of Carly’s filterless cigarettes from the pack of Lucky Strikes she found on the coffee table. Lighting it, taking a drag, she watched the smoke trail curl upward as if confined by some invisible straw. The flame end matched the colored tips of her manicured nails.
Among last night’s cocaine addled conversations, Annee listened to Carly drone on about how the maker of Luckies had been resurrected by Big Ben Industries, a British conglomerate that has been buying up rights to names of deceased twentieth-century brands, especially those who fell victim to politically correct badmouthing. Carly made it obvious to Annee that she was a lawyer.
Annee decided the only way to stop her monologue was to walk over to her and begin kissing her. And that’s what she did. The more Carly blabbed the more she got kissed. Tom returned from the toilet with a beautiful erection. And, in slow motion, the menage a trois began all over again. In a flash of dexterity, Annee jumped into Tom’s arms. They coupled instantly. Carly followed Tom as he carried Annee to the sofa. She sat on Tom’s chest, facing Annee. The women kissed while Tom soon exploded in passion inside Annee.
***
An hour later, fully awake, Annee stood and stretched. She rummaged on the floor for one of Tom’s t-shirts that someone wore last night. Yawning, rubbing her eyes, she saw night fading into a gray dawn. She tiptoed across the worn carpet to the kitchen’s linoleum tile. There she made coffee. Waiting for the water to boil, she opened one of the casement windows facing the park. She hoped a jolt of cold air would dispel her nausea. The few wisps of rain that made it through the window felt good on her face.
Despite the early hour, North Beach smelled of garlic, bacon with a wave of coffee being fresh roasted. The aromas were distinctly those of North Beach. The mix of fresh air and spits of rain did little to ebb her hangover. It was a lousy cycle.
Closing the window, she turned to the refrigerator, where Tom had a full quart of orange juice sitting next to a bottle of milk and four cans of Anchor Steam craft beer. Annee alternated gulping the soothing juice and made the coffee From freshly ground beans.
***
Carly was next to reach the kitchen. She wore a white t-shirt from Tom’s chest of drawers. She was naked below her waist. “You have such beautiful legs,” Annee said and handed her a cup of hot coffee.
He was still in bed, snoring.
Carly welcomed the coffee.
Annee kept touching Carly’s body. She couldn’t resist; she playfully teased Carly about how the brunette the night before had announced every arriving orgasm like a train conductor calling off next stop: I’m coming, coming: Wow or I’m coming, coming: Ouuuu or I’m coming, coming: God, don’t stop.
Carly, surprised by Annee’s bluntness, caused an immediate unladylike snort that shot coffee up into her nose. Coughing, she hurried into the kitchen for a paper towel. “That was unnecessary,” Carly breathed through her mouth. “But funny,”
Annee added. “You were the belle of the ball. How much do you remember?”
“Too much. Don’t ask, I’m still in a fog.”
“Do you like girls?”
“Oh, God, I’m such a whore,” Carly whispered and rubbed her hands into her face. “I was all over you, wasn’t I?”
“Tom had to peel you off so he could take his turn with me. Was this the first time you tasted a vagina?”
“Stop being so graphic.” Carly’s eyes widened. “Remember I’m new at this.”
“You had us fooled.” Annee playfully pushed Carly’s shoulder. “You’re not married, are you?”
“No, far from it.”
“Now you have a war story. Am I your first?”
“First what?” Carly rolled her head back and closed her eyes.
“Pussy. First pussy.”
“Arrrrgggg, stop it.”
“Well, am I?” Carly tilted her head to the side and blew smoke at her, “No, not exactly. When I was in Manhattan last fall, I took on the entire line of Rockettes. Every single one of them.”
That made Annee grin. “I asked for that, sorry.” She reached across the table to hold Carly’s hand.
Carly did surprise herself by how casual the evening played out. Now, she was holding hands with a woman she had known for only a few hours. What she believed was taboo (threesomes) turned out to be normal. Kissing another woman was surprisingly easy. Touching her. Tasting nipples, thighs, other places became normal. Skin tasted like skin no matter the gender. What was the big deal? Erotic sensations were more intense with oral sex. She basked in the glow of one tongue after another stroking, nibbling, caressing her. Where was the guilt, the sin that the polite society had raised her to dread?
Annee, by far, was more aggressive in her passion than Tom. Annee reveled in oral sex. She was relentless, spending Tom then moving on to Carly. Carly took turns with Tom to run tongues along Annee’s freckled skin, tonguing her navel, her mouth, her delicious neck while Tom locked himself inside her strawberry-colored mons.
Carly’s reverie recalled other moments when she lay passive, running her hands through her short hair, whispering to be touched. Lying on her back, moving her knees apart with each new partner, she could not tell what mouth brought her to such a rampant orgasm.
Tom laughed and put his hand over her mouth to mute her loud ecstasies. Now in the kitchen alone together, the two accidental lovers smiled at each other in an afterglow somewhere between peace and curiosity.
Carly’s skin was pink in blotches from head to toe.
Annie interrupted a Cheshire grin by sticking a Lucky Strike between her lips. She was able to light it on the old-fashioned gas stove.
“Let me have that,” Carly asked, trading a lit smoke for an unlit one.
***
Carly finished her coffee and poured more into her cup. “How did you meet Tom?” She moved her feet on to the chair and bent her legs under the t-shirt.
Annee noticed Carly’s feet. “Your toenails match your fingernails. Even naked you’re so buttoned down.”
“I don’t know what to say to that?”
“I’m just blabbing,” Annee said. “Hoping you like me? Lift your t-shirt, let me see your breasts.”
Carly obeyed, pulling off the shirt. She threw it, hitting Carly in the face. Annee stripped. Both naked, they embraced and kissed like teenagers on a wobbly dinette chair. Finally, Carly pulled away. “I met him last night at Powell’s. John introduced us. He bought me dinner. I thought he’d be a great one-off.”
“Was he?”
“I’d see Tom again. Unless he’s yours?”
“We’re in a relationship that isn’t a relationship. He works for my father, and I simply adore him, but I don’t want to marry him. Maybe if a woman like you spirited him away, I’d hate myself. But at least I’d know he’s happy, and we’d be able to finally shake loose of each other.”
“Office romances are so hard to manage. Everyone who cares probably knows.”
“Not in this city,” Carly added quickly. “If they knew, it would be on the front page…”
“Would you be mad if I saw him again while I’m in town?”
“So, I wasn’t enough for you?” Carly pretended to frown.
Annee said, “It’s always nice to hang out with someone you don’t have to cut through the fog with every time. I’d like to do this again. Besides, I don’t know how long I will stay in the city.”
“Go for it. I told him a dozen times it was over between us.”
“But you still showed up at his door last night—unannounced.”
“I know, I know. I’m glad you want to see him again. I figured I messed up any chance he had with you by showing up last night.”
“You made last night better,” Annie said.
Carly said, “I don’t know what to think. And I can’t believe the things you did last night in front of me. I’m thinking you must have been one nasty little girl.”
“I like touching girls, especially myself. Here, give me your hand.” Carly slapped Annee’s fingers away. Annee laughed, “See what a whore I am?”
“Last night was fun. Not something I plan on repeating anytime soon but I will remember all this when I’m a little old lady, definitely.”
“Good,” Annee said. “Did you know Tom offered to let me stay with him until I find a job. Does that work for you?”
“It’s his call. I want him to be happy. I want one of us to decide.”
“I wasn’t thinking of romance. I need a place to stay.”
“He’ll be a gentleman.”
Annee closed her eyes. She had clearly excited herself with her fingers.
Carly snapped at her “Can you stop that, now?”
Annie continued. She gently held her tongue between her gapped front teeth. Her breathing grew deeper. “I’m really enjoy doing this. I won’t be long.” Annee closed her eyes.
“Why are you doing that?” Carly asked.
“Because you turn me on.” With her free hand, Annee moved her hand between Carly’s white thighs. This time Carly didn’t slap at Annee. Instead, she moved her knees apart and let Annee’s arousal grow. “You’re going to make me explode,” Annee said.
***
Tom walked into the living room to what had now become a pornographer’s set. He walked by Annee and Carly, who were lying on the sofa kissing while their hands explored each other.
“Are we having fun?” he asked. Each held Tom’s hand. He pulled them up from the sofa and took his naked friends back to bed. And so went the carousel, a night and a morning spinning that may or may never be repeated but while it happened it was pure joy.
***
Tom left them tangled in bed. Carly’s white body was a rosy pink between her thighs and over her breasts. Annee leaned into Carly and whispered. “When he wakes up what will we do with him?”
“I hear him in the shower,” Carly said.
Annee giggled. “Let’s go pee all over him.”
“No. Stop it!” Carly insisted. “I really can’t have any more sex or listen to your kinky mouth.”
“Amateur.”
“Yes, I am and count me out if you think peeing is sexy.”
“He’s really a good man,” Annee finally said. “I could see it by the way he made love to you. Were you jealous?”
Carly wrinkled her nose. “A bit.”
“I’d keep him.”
“God, listen to us. We sound like we’re talking about a car we’re about to buy.” That made Annee laugh. “I need a shower.”
Carly agreed, then asked “I just realized I know nothing about you.”
“Let’s keep it this way for now. We may never have a chance to do this so…so…comfortably.”
“Like I said, this is enough for me,” Carly said. “I’m not going to make a habit of this.”
“Too bad, you’re amazing.”
They embraced; Carly sighed, “I can never say no. I’m just as bad as you.”
“Now you are officially gay?” Annee announced.
Carly shook her head and looked around for a cigarette: “I wish all gay persons well. I’m not one of them. I like traditional love?”
“What the hell is that?” Annee asked. “Are we talking two and a half kids, a white picket fence and the PTA?”
“Something like that. Are you gay, Annee?”
“Sweetie, if it feels good, I’ll fuck anyone or anything if they’re cute. No toads for me.”
Carly held her hands out to her sides. “Then I’m a gay-in-training toad?”
Annee had that look in her eyes. She wanted Carly in her arms, “You’re gorgeous and especially with tits like yours and your face. Damn, your face is amazing.”
“You’re prettier than me,” Carly offered.
“You’re younger,” Annee said, “but answer me this: have you had your heart broken? Yet?”
Carly didn’t answer. Annee pointed to her. “I’m taking that as a no. You must experience both the good and bad aspects of men. They’re all jerks, but if you want a man for the rest of your life, you gotta find out what makes them tick.”
“Who has the time for that?”
“If you want a man in your old age, then you’ll have to make the time,” Annee said.
Carly's smile faded,“What if you have the right man now and then invest ten years fucking jerks. By then it’s too late to go back to him.”
“Hedge your bets. Find someone like me,” Annee smiled.
“Sex is so political with me,” Carly said, “like two lobbyists trying to get the last word in… I hope I’m wrong.”
“If Tom made love to you the way he did to me last night, I’d reconsider,” Annee said touching her new lover’s face.
“But we all know the honeymoon goes away.”
“Not if you find the right man.”
“Really?” Carly asked. “Yes, really. I feel in my gut that I could trust a man like Tom the rest of my life and love him…love him. Lasting love.” Annee added, “But for now, I have to ask what keeps you from committing to him?”
“Fear. I hope my parents won’t think I’m marrying below my station.”
“God, woman, how absolutely medieval. Marry him. Who cares how much you make? You’re probably a very rich bitch, so who cares about money. You got plenty for both of you.”
“How do you know I’m rich—if I am?”
“That little silk dress you tossed off last night like a paper towel cost you 1,500 new dollars.”
“It was on sale.”
“Not funny, I want to live in your shoes if all your men are like Tom. He fucked me blind, and I think you know that…no wonder you can’t let him go.”
Carly was embarrassed, scarlet.
“Why don’t we both marry him?” Annee wasn’t smiling. “You better hurry and decide.”
Carly looked her in the eyes. “Who are you?”
“I’m your competition, if you don’t want him.”
They walked hand in hand into the shower. Annee greeted him in the steaming shower by putting a hand on his cock.
Carly cooed into Tom’s ear, “Lazarus is that you?”
Tom was very glad to see them. Three to a shower. It dawned on him how very lucky he was.
Until the hot water ran out.
***
“Are you taking us for breakfast?” Annie asked.
“Too late. How about lunch,” Carly said.
By noon, they cleaned up nicely and the trio walked down the block into C&Js for something to eat. Michael Cortland put his hand on his partner’s shoulder. “Look what the cat dragged in.” Seamus said,
“For the love of God, he’s got two of them. He should’ve been born with four hands and two dicks.” Cortland shook his head.
“Now there’s a man not wasting his youth," Seamus grinned ear to ear.
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