COFFEE BEANS & BEINGS / ARRGH! THOSE ANNOYING & CLUELESS COFFEE HOUSE PINHEADS WE CAN DO WITHOUT

Every cafe has ‘that guy or gal’—who spreads out gadgets, bellows into a phone and buys just one small black coffee all day. 

Here’s a field guide to what normal folks are thinking about such clueless pinheads: 

 1. Shouts Into His Phone “Bob! Can you hear me, Bob?! Sorry, but the jerks in this cafe are so noisy and rude I can barely concentrate. Bob?!” 

 2. Asks for Free Refills “Mind giving me a warm up, kid? I’ve been here so long that my $1.50 drip coffee is practically ice cold. A croissant? Oh no, I ate before I came.” 

 3. Leaves a Mess “Why should I have to clean all this up? It’s not like I work at this coffee shop. I’m a paying customer!” 

 4. Takes Every Outlet “Yes I do need all these plugs. Isn’t that self-evident? No, I can’t briefly unplug my printer. Maybe you should’ve arrived a tad earlier.” 

 5. Builds a Workstation “How can I manage all my super-important spreadsheets with one puny laptop? I need a full-size keyboard to type, and a 22-inch screen to see all my tabs.” 

 6. World’s worst customer on YouTube. Click here. 

SOURCE: The satire above (except #6) came from the Wall Street Journal. Click here to read it in full.