COFFEE BEANS & BEINGS / TRADER JOE’S COFFEE BEAN BLAST ICE CREAM

When the nightly news gets beyond morbid, which is sadly more and more frequent, I can always rely on one publication, whose writing is so positive that after reading only one article it usually sends me on my way with a big smile.

That publication would be the Trader Joe’s Fearless Flyer, the quarterly or so, marketing missive from the specialty grocery chain based in Monrovia, CA.  Lucky us, it is free and (as they point out) worth every penny.  Subscribe to the Fearless Flyer: www.traderjoes.com

Because the Fearless Flyer eschews bylines—a practice that would send writers at his blog screaming for the exits—you must simply enjoy the prose knowing there’s a copywriting gnome somewhere in Monrovia beaming with pride.  His or her face deep into Coffee Bean Blast Ice Cream.

Here’s Trader Joe’s low down on what makes coffee bean ice cream so good.

“...This is why people scream for ice cream.  Trader Joe’s Coffee Bean Blast Ice Cream is, in our most humble opinion, the very best coffee ice cream available anywhere on planet Earth.  Or beyond, on other planets whose populations value ice cream.  Lest you think we hyperbolize—which we would never, ever do—we’re about to tell you exactly what makes TJ’s Coffee Bean Blast so special.

First and foremost, our Coffee Bean Blast Ice Cream ($3.99 per quart) has very low overrun.  Overrun, in ice cream speak, is the amount of air that’s whipped into the ice cream—the higher the overrun, the lower quality the ice cream.

Because there is so little air in this ice cream, it is thicker, richer and creamier than lesser quality ice creams.  And, then there’s the flavor.

Big WOW here.

Some coffee ice creams have a little coffee flavor—some don’t even use actual coffee.  Our Coffee Bean Blast Ice Cream features big, bold, intense coffee flavor that comes from brewed Colombian coffee and bits of very finely ground French Roast Colombian coffee in every bite.

You might expect the best ice cream in the galaxy to come with an otherworldly price tag.  On the contrary, quarts of this creamy creation are only $3.99, a very down to earth price...”