Multilectual Daily Online Magazine focusing on World Architecture, Travel, Photography, Interior Design, Vintage and Contemporary Fiction, Political cartoons, Craft Beer, All things Espresso, International coffee/ cafe's, occasional centrist politics and San Diego's Historic North Park by award-winning journalist Tom Shess
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
SPRING FASHION NEVER STANDS STILL
DOG DAYS OF STYLE—Ah, March, the new cruelest month for mature male fashion. The equinox is here again: time when nature struts her peacocks. And nowhere is the view more memorable than sitting in the patio section of large discount warehouse operation watching American, post-50, male shoppers walking by. Granted, who among us is a fashion critic, I mean really? And, I only pick on the male gender because I value my remaining years. The following comments reflect upon a parade I witnessed only moments ago.
STOP ME IF I EVER…
--keep a full head of gray hair, but dye my moustache jet black.
--am tempted to wear horn-rim eye glasses the size of grapefruits like I did in the early 90s.
--leave the house wearing denim cut-offs with knee-length black socks fitting into high top tennis shoes. This view was enhanced by tucking a beer t-shirt into the jeans and supporting a rounded beer belly with wide-strap industrial strength suspenders.
--don my vintage searsucker blazer over a Pendleton lumberjack plaid shirt. The look gets better knowing this model was wearing bib overalls.
--walk through the store imitating a wide-mouth bass with every step.
--exhibit untanned chest open to the navel with a gold chains and oversized tinted sunglasses, uncuffed white pants and white shoes with pink rubber soles. Dare I mention the red-dyed comb-over and newly acquired botox lips. Get thee to central casting.
Again, I offer this Spring Fashion Show not for criticism of my fellow male, but to point out if you match your socks you too can go out in public feeling like a fashion plate.
Images: Thank you page 35 of the Internet for these pictures. Even a cute pup can’t pull off a combover. Shorts, white socks and sandals are the real reasons the rest of the world rolls its eyes at American Tourists.
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